Blog Posts

Pure Magic

12/25/2020

Written by HoChun Ho, one of my parents first international students and really their, "son before the first one" who they met while teaching conversational English classes at Syracuse University.

"This first photo is my brother Matty; I believe it was Christmas 1991.

These other two were taken in spring 1992 when I took my mom to visit Syracuse and went back to SU for my graduation. It is hard to believe the Thanksgiving dinner at Ruby’s kitchen with a group of international students thirty years ago would lead to a lifelong friendship.

I started to show up at the dinner table on weekends till I graduated in Spring, 1992. Ruby became a mother to me; I would call her and talk for hours. The laughs, tears, stories, sleepovers, tea, dinners…. I could almost smell the food and the wood-burning stove in that lovely house when I close my eyes and think of those days. I insisted that Ruby should call me “the son before the first one”, and Ray, Mark, Mike and Matt became my friends.

Some encounters in life are pure magic. Knowing the Adams to me is one of those precious, life-changing encounters. I felt safe, welcome and comfortable when I was in that lovely house; that is the feeling of home. Merry Christmas, Ruby, Ray, Marky, Mike and Matt. I miss you."

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Making Santa’s Naughty List

12/22/2020

I think I was usually a good kid, but by the time I was about 11 or 12, I knew exactly where my mom kept all of the Christmas gifts before they were wrapped. One day my parents were out of the house for a bit and I decided to go on a gift-hunting expedition and, oh boy, did I find Every. Single. Gift. But as soon as I looked at the gifts, the guilt started to immediately eat at me and after a day or two I confessed everything to my mother.

It took her some time to react. You see, she wasn’t angry, she was just disappointed because all of her spare money went to getting these gifts and I robbed her of my surprised face which she always looked forward to on Christmas. That was my mom’s favorite part about Christmas morning, watching us open her gifts. After I confessed, it took multiple apologies and lots of remorse on my part and slowly but surely, she started to forgive me. Even though I knew what the gifts were, she still wrapped them all up and I really put on a show pretending to be surprised when I was opening them up. Also worth noting, I never took a peek at my gifts before Christmas again.

Santa Ruby

12/15/2020

Syracuse is synonymous with snow for a lot of people, including my Mom who never really seemed to have gotten used to the cold and long winters. To this day, she curls up with a hot corn bag under the covers and around Christmas time was usually when the stove in the living room is on all day. In 2014, December 25th was one of those rare green Christmases in Syracuse however. To us that was kind of special and strange at the same time. Maybe that’s why we decided to get out and do something fun. I had a bunch of Santa costumes in storage at my parents’ house from a film that I had made, and on a whim we decided to surprise Mary, one of my mom’s dearest friends, with a visit from Santa.

Because Mary lives up the street, we walked over to her house and took a few pictures on the way. There were some remnants of snow, which Santa aka Ruby pointed out for the camera, but otherwise you could still see the fall leaves on the ground.

Santa Ruby even pretended to take a little nap in the grass, for we all know that Christmas time can be exhausting for a Santa Claus.

But the moment that made this day so incredibly special was when we arrived at Mary’s house. We rang the doorbell and when Mary came to greet us, her face lit up like a Christmas tree. You would have thought that she was a kid on Christmas morning that got a visit from good ol' Saint Nick. That’s the level of happy we’re talking about.

Mary was similar to my mom in that she always wanted to feed people. She’s the type of lady who would still offer you food even if you had told her you just came from lunch or dinner, and whenever you ate her food it would make her so very happy. I don’t know how many cookies my mom and I ate at her house that day, but let’s just say it was A LOT. For Mary, the fact that she not only got a visit from her dear friend dressed up as Santa but also that she got to give her so many homemade cookies made her happy as could be. And let’s face it: Wouldn’t you want to give this Santa all your cookies and milk if she knocked on your door?

Short Skirts, Flowers, and Pot Culture

12/8/2020

I found this photo of my mother when she must have been no more than 22. On the back of it, I was surprised to find a note from her father! Here’s what it said.

These were the days at Mayo when long dresses were in fashion. “Woweee.” This particular photograph was found while cleaning up and tidying one of our large suitcases. This dress is almost reaching your ankles. What a great contrast from today with the mini skirts just a few inches from the hips. You used to be keenly interested in flowers and pot culture as shown when you were holidaying in our country home. With lots of love from Dad. 11/27/1972

Quirky Christmas Decorations and The Wu-Tang Clan

12/1/2020

When I was a kid, I loved the way my mom decorated our home for Christmas. When those boxes of decorations would come out from the space underneath the stairs, I would get so excited. My mom would put Nat King Cole’s Christmas classics in the CD player and we would get to work setting everything up.

So many of our decorations were unique, too. My mom made 5 cotton snowmen that sat on our mantle that were supposed to resemble my parents, my 2 brothers and me. When I was about 8 or 9, I noticed that mine was so much smaller than all the others and I asked her about it. There was a pause and then she proceeded to explain to me that originally, there were only 4. You see, I was born almost 9 years after my brother Mike and my mom said that when I was born, she took a bit of cotton from all the other snowmen to make me. I loved that story and even asked her to repeat it on several occasions. I can still hear myself asking her, “Why is “snowman me” so small, mom?”

Not all of my mom’s crafty family creations were a hit though. One year, she made versions of the 5 of us as Christmas carolers. She took these 2x4’s, cut them in half, drew faces on them, dressed them up in winter clothing and some of us were even holding real sheet music.

Even when I was in my early 20’s, she was still going full force with the decorations and spoiling us with gifts but I noticed that she would never spend money on herself. For my mother it was considered sacrilege to pay full price on something for herself. She had more clothes than anyone I’ve ever met but if you think she paid full price for even one sock, you’re mistaken.

My favorite example of her discount clothing was her Wu-Tang Clan sweatshirt. My mom was many things but she most definitely was not a Wu-Tang Clan fan. I used to joke with her about it but she kept wearing it, especially around the holidays. I think she simply liked it because it was warm and it was green and by buying that sweatshirt, it allowed her to have a little more money to buy things for her family which to her was the most important thing in the world.

A Fake Menu, a Green Cooler, and a Freezer Full of Food

11/24/2020

Like so many moms, mine was always concerned that I wasn't eating properly or eating enough, even as an adult. I lived in New York City for about a decade between my early 20s and early 30s. Of course, my parents would drive down from Syracuse a few times a year and when they did, they used to bring me an incredible amount of food.

As soon as they parked the car, their first order of business was to bring the giant green metal cooler upstairs that was filled to the brim with all of my favorite foods. Not only did she make sure my refrigerator was full but also my freezer. In the days before coming to the city she would cook up several complete meals that she would store and freeze in containers so I would have individual meals that I could take out and heat up. It was a full-on "meals on wheels" service, complete with a sort of fake room service menu card that she made for me, which listed all the food she had brought.

As you can read on the example below, the menu contained everything from West Indian Stewed Chicken Legs to Lamb Chops in Sauce, a Pot Roast with Potatoes & Carrots, and staples like her famous Macaroni & Cheese and Hamburgers. The menu was a work-in-progress that she completed once she came to my apartment, so it eventually came with instructions as to where things were (e.g. "top shelf freezer") and sometimes what things were packed in ("bacon in plastic bag"). She also made sure I had an assortment of fresh fruits in the house and even brought me some cookies.

The other details on the note are really great too: On the right side of the card she wrote the name of the fake establishment "Lady Luck Las Vegas" with a phone number as well. There is a reminder to drink water, and look at all those pink hearts that she drew with magic marker. And lastly, she calls me by my nickname, "Holden," which is was a name that I sort of gave myself in my late teens and which stayed with me for a good decade.

With Thanksgiving coming up this week, I was thinking a lot about food and thought this would be the perfect thing to share this story. At the time, I didn't think about it so much, and maybe even took it for granted a little bit. I always knew my mom as the lady in the neighborhood who was feeding everyone - and for her driving 4+ hours to bring a cooler full of food to her son in the Big Apple just was the most normal thing to do.

Family Portrait, Toad Edition

11/17/2020

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A few years ago, my Dad found a toad in the skimmer box when he was cleaning the pool. He called my mom and me outside to see it and we started laughing because instead of hopping away, it just sat there and looked at us. We thought it would be fun to take some pictures with it and it turned into a fully-fledged photo shoot.

Even our cat Stir got in on the action. Although they are not smiling for the camera, they posed like two professionals and we'd like to think that they enjoyed working with each other.

My mom was having such a blast that we decided to even take a "family photo" with our bumpy buddy. I don't think that this pic ever made it onto the fridge, but we talked about it for years to come and the smile on my mom's face shows you that she is toadally up for anything!

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Birthday Cakes and Big Bright Smiles

11/10/2020

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It's my birthday today and I think we can all agree that one of the best things about birthdays is the cake. My mom used to put so much heart into the cakes that she would make and this Smurf cake is no exception. Just look at that frosting!

This evening, I was able to share a few smiles with her over video chat and I think its safe to say that her smile still lights up any room that she is in. Thanks for all the cakes throughout the years, mom. I hope you know how much they've meant to me.

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Get Out the Vote!

11/3/2020

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This week's Ruby Tuesday is interrupted by a public service announcement: If you haven't done so already, grab your American flag top hat and head out to the polls and VOTE!

Disclaimer: American flag top hats may make voting more fun, but they are by no means mandatory. If you don't have one, but are registered to vote, your vote will still be counted without any issues.

On a more serious note, four years ago, many people believed that Hillary Clinton would have a landslide victory and didn't think their individual vote mattered. That's why I urge you to do your part and vote like your life depends on it - because for many people, it does.

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The Cat that Played the Violin

10/27/2020

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Most people probably remember the last time that they dressed up for Halloween when they were a kid. For me, I was over 30. After I moved back to Syracuse in 2011, I was hanging out with my mom on Halloween evening and we decided to just get dressed up in case we had any trick-or-treaters. My mom simply put on a witches hat or something like that but for me, she had bigger ideas. After looking through some of the items in our basement, we came up with this idea together. I was to be the cat that played the violin.

My mom loved the costume so much, she asked me is we could go to her friend Mary's house who lived just about a block away. When we got there, I rang the doorbell, and her husband Dominick, this big Italian guy answered and yelled to his wife, "Mary! You gotta see this, there's a cat out here playing the violin!" We all laughed so much together and I'll never forget that look on Dominick's face as he turned into a little kid right in front of us. That was the thing about my mom, whenever something made her smile, she always wanted to share it with others and I'm so glad I got to see it firsthand for so many years.