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Smeared Lipstick and Nirvana Covers

9/29/2020

When I was in my early 20’s, I was really into performance art. I had recently discovered Andy Kaufman and wanted to perform in shows that weren’t traditional in the sense of what the audience expected.

Because I played in a variety of bands, it wasn’t too hard to book a show in the Syracuse area so I booked one and I’m sure they didn’t expect what they got. When it was time for our band to take the stage, I got in a wheelbarrow and my Dad wheeled me through the audience and dumped me out in front of the stage. He had on a tuxedo and this great American flag bow tie.

After I got up, I dusted myself off like nothing happened and looked around and could gather that the audience had no clue what was going on but they seemed be be interested. This was a club that was known for jam bands and we weren't going to be playing Grateful Dead and Phish covers so this was a bit of an experiment.

When I got to my feet, my friend Jaime approached the stage in a Syracuse Chiefs uniform pretending to be an athlete and started making fun of me. We made a few jabs at each other and when our encounter was done, I took off my shirt and my pants and underneath I was wearing a dress.

I smeared lipstick all over my face, grabbed a guitar, and a drummer and bassist took the stage and we tore through 5 Nirvana covers as I screamed my heart out in typical Cobain fashion

At the end of our set, my mom, wearing a bathrobe made her way through the audience and she was yelling at me. She was screaming in a stereotypical “mom” fashion about it being late at night and was furious that I wasn’t home and in bed because I had school in the morning.

After she pulled me off the stage, she dragged me through the audience and we left the club. That was the whole show. I don't have a pic of my mom from during the performance but I took this one below before we left for the show.

My mom always embraced these creative impulses and I'm so thankful for that. Although I'm not into performance art in the same way that I used to be, I miss doing things like this with my mom.

As I look back at these memories, I see that it was times like these when we would really bond. She had never taken an improv class in her life but always supported my ideas, made me feel comfortable and we used to have so much fun going back and forth, making it all up as we went along.

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The "R" is for Ruby

9/22/2020

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From a young age, my mom was quite crafty. In this photo, you can see that she has an "R" embroidered on her dress that she did herself. My Aunt Vicenta who is in the bottom middle of this photo remembers it as a golden color and said that my mother did quite a bit of embroidery back then.
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The funny thing about the letter "R" is that of course it stands for "Ruby" but truth be told, her real name is Maria Theresa. My Dad said that when he was in the states and my mom was in Trinidad before she flew over for the wedding, he went to get the invitations for their wedding made and the woman making the invitations said, "Her name can't be Ruby” because it isn’t such a common name. My Dad didn’t think twice about it though and still had the invitations printed as planned.
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It was some time later that my Dad found out what her real name was. He didn't ask her about it at the time and my mom must have never thought it was worth sharing because everyone she knew referred to her as Ruby. He later found out that she was called Ruby because she she resembled her Aunt Ruby. To be honest, I don't think I've ever heard anyone refer to my mom as Maria. Shes a Ruby through and through and I can't even imagine her being named anything else.

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Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained

9/15/2020

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When I was about 20 years old, I was putting on a show at a club in Syracuse and I needed a baseball uniform for one of the actors. I had no clue where to get one and because they are relatively expensive, I couldn't just buy one for a one time use.

My mom and I joked around how it would be so cool to have a Sky Chiefs uniform which was the local Syracuse minor league baseball team at the time. On a whim, my mom called them and somehow got through to someone that had the power to approve something like this and after a few minutes, my mom hung up and said, “We can pick one up on Monday and they said we can keep it as long as we need it.”

We were both thrilled that we were able to get this uniform on loan. We laughed and laughed about it! It added a lot of excitement to the show having a real uniform like this. Of course I learned from watching my mom that it never hurts to ask. Of course it doesn't happen all the time but every once in a while someone will listen to your situation and help you out when you least expect it.

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The Writing on the Back of a Photograph

9/8/2020

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Many of you may know that my mother struggled with severe postpartum depression after I was born. She lived in various places and even spent some time being homeless on the streets of New York City. My first memories of her are when she returned home when I was about 6 years old. This photo is from right about that time.

After looking at the photo, I turned it over and was surprised to see some writing on the back of it. If you can't read it, it says, "I ❤ you Matt. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. Forgive me!" On the left side, it reads, "I thank God that he gave me the miracle of my life back!! Love Mom."

Even though she isn't the person that came home when I was 6 years old until she got sick, I feel so lucky that I got the chance to spend so much time with her while she was well. I learned so much from her and I'm forever thankful that I got to experience the joy of life with her for so many years.

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Once a Teacher, Always a Teacher

9/1/2020

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Written by Mike Adams

My second career in teaching is based on a long family history of service in education that includes both grandfathers. Mom's dad, as an impoverished young man in Trinidad and Tobago (T&T), started as a "pupil-teacher" in 1930. He rose to principal by 1954 and retired in 1970 with forty years of service.

I believe despite his faults; he instilled in my mother a deep love of learning. She completed her O-Level equivalent, which is a post-high school credential of education awarded by Cambridge University before T&T's independence from the U.K, and among other things, she taught Spanish on the island before meeting my father. A fond memory of mine is that she came to my class in my second-grade year and taught and helped all the students and teachers make a giant tissue paper flower for Mother's Day. Other robust memories include my parents visiting Tokyo and my mother teaching my children even in her advanced age.

Friends, family, and readers of this blog may know that my mother went through a deep depression. However, as I believe it is often the case - depression ends, and I am confident that having a job and commitment to the community is among the best interventions available.

I credit the articulation of this theory to my mentor and pastor, Ken Turner. Upon her return to our family in 1984, eligible from her O-Levels, with the help of our dearest family friend Florencia Lewis (who by the way also helped me obtain my teaching prospects), received a position as Teaching Assistant in the Syracuse City School District. To those of you who know my mom, it is no surprise that she never referred to herself as an assistant, and as I understand it, most of her head teachers treated her as a co-teacher.

She primarily supported severely physically disabled children and also those on the spectrum in integrated classrooms. I think it is fair to say that mom was an angel for the family of one boy we recall. However, she also supported all students in art and creativity. Furthermore, she moonlighted as an instructor of vegetarian cooking at Onondaga Community College. I recall how happy that job made her.

Among her students were US Circuit Judge Rosemary Pooler and her daughter, (for those outside of the United States, a Circuit judge is the level directly below the Supreme Court). Mom enjoyed having the budget to buy the ingredients for the class meals freely at Wegmans. School children and adult cooking students were welcome to our home from time to time, and any visitor in that era would have a delicious meal at least.

In closing, I will let mom speak for herself. These are her words, circa 2000.

"I love to share my feelings with others. I believe that one of the greatest gifts that we can give to our students is the ability to see, to hear, and to reach others; to see the beauty in human communication. Unless we can teach our students- the next generation to be human beings who can share and care for others, we will, unfortunately, be bringing up robots!

I love to create. Because of my enthusiasm and creativity, I can give my students the sense of their creativity, necessary for them, to perhaps reach their dreams and goals, or at least provide them with some self-confidence and self-esteem to move on...hope if you will, perhaps sometimes at a seemingly dead-end street."

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"Ruby Tuesday" is a place for friends and family to share stories about my mother and show how she has impacted their lives.

Blog updates every Tuesday for the full year to celebrate my mom turning 80.

If you'd like to share something, whether it be a story, a photo, a recipe or even a drawing of hers that you kept, please e-mail me or use the contact form. The goal is to get as many voices on here as possible!

Smeared Lipstick and Nirvana Covers

The "R" is for Ruby

Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained

The Writing on the Back of a Photograph

Once a Teacher, Always a Teacher

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